Monday, December 22, 2003
On 24th, K will come back.
I don't seem to care. I think for this time, I am really frustrated with him. At an age of 24, he does not seem to know how to take care of himself. No signs of independence, and no signs of responsibility. I think oversea studies has marred some of his good points.
I truely do not want to see him, and I feel nothing much for M, and parents. I mean I do not feel so intense and uptight now. Though I am constantly disappointed by Mom's doing.
I realise I have been leaning on my parents too much, esp on money matters.
I have lack of responsibility, and my passion almost extiguish entirely. This is so dangerous, thats why I want my mom to move back to JB asap. But how can I request this. This will make them real sad. I am frustrated at myself, but I do not want to make them sad anymore.
I truely feel forsaken, but its okay. Its all part of growing up. They can't realise that by taking too much care of me for past 27 years, I fail to grow up into a fully matured man. I need to break the chain of inheriting bad traits or family culture. By that, I have almost severe my ties with Dad. Now things are not cleanly cut of, and this is annoying. I cannot go forward, and of course I will not lean back again.
WHat will happen to me... My passion is lost, and once that extiguish, that will probably mark my end. Perhaps I should ask Mom to move out by cny...
Sigh... I am a bastard son and brother. Fiak!
I don't seem to care. I think for this time, I am really frustrated with him. At an age of 24, he does not seem to know how to take care of himself. No signs of independence, and no signs of responsibility. I think oversea studies has marred some of his good points.
I truely do not want to see him, and I feel nothing much for M, and parents. I mean I do not feel so intense and uptight now. Though I am constantly disappointed by Mom's doing.
I realise I have been leaning on my parents too much, esp on money matters.
I have lack of responsibility, and my passion almost extiguish entirely. This is so dangerous, thats why I want my mom to move back to JB asap. But how can I request this. This will make them real sad. I am frustrated at myself, but I do not want to make them sad anymore.
I truely feel forsaken, but its okay. Its all part of growing up. They can't realise that by taking too much care of me for past 27 years, I fail to grow up into a fully matured man. I need to break the chain of inheriting bad traits or family culture. By that, I have almost severe my ties with Dad. Now things are not cleanly cut of, and this is annoying. I cannot go forward, and of course I will not lean back again.
WHat will happen to me... My passion is lost, and once that extiguish, that will probably mark my end. Perhaps I should ask Mom to move out by cny...
Sigh... I am a bastard son and brother. Fiak!
